Well Played, Sir is now The Evolution of Reason!

In an effort to make my blog easier and more versatile, I've moved my site to Wordpress. With the move, I've taken the opportunity to change the name of my blog.  The Evolution of Reason represents my belief that the way we think has, and must continue to evolve.  This is true in all areas of our lives, particularly our social interactions, politics, and faith. 

You will find my entire archive on the new page, so you won't lose any of your favorite posts!  You will also find information and links to all of my projects, including The American Complaint Department and Crossroads Radio!

Thank you for visiting, and I hope you will join me at The Evolution of Reason!

Social Media Storm Hits Applebee’s Hard

Cross-posted from The American Complaint Department News Magazine

If you haven’t heard the story of Chelsea Welch then you have probably been living under a social networking rock for the last week.  Chelsea is the waitress fired from Applebee’s for posting an image of a receipt left by Pastor Alois Bell of Truth in the Word Deliverance Ministries in St. Louis.  The comments left by Pastor Bell, and the subsequent firing of Ms. Welch, have caused a social media backlash that has washed over Applebee’s like a tidal wave.  Unfortunately, Applebee’s made the situation much worse with a completely mismanaged public relations response.

Click here to continue reading...

A Liberal in Conservative Clothing

Be careful, conservatives.  You might actually be a liberal fighting to convince yourself that you are a conservative.  Oh, the horror!

I know this because I actually talked to one this weekend.  I was in a hotel having dinner, and I began a conversation with a conservative about some hot topics.  As I expected, we made absolutely no headway with the abortion (contraceptives) debate.  There is no winning in a debate about that.  The debates I really enjoyed were about "entitlement" programs and gay marriage.

In these discussions, I simply used a sequence of logical questions to get the poor closet liberal to admit that they didn't really align with conservatives in the way they thought.  We began discussing the law being free from religion.  This conservative played the "Constitution was written on Christian beliefs" card.  Well, that was an easy one.  I simply got the person's agreement that the Constitution was written to protect freedom of religion, and freedom from religion.  Once that was established, I asked if they believed that the government should be forcing some Christians' beliefs on others?  Of course, it was hard to admit, but I got the "no" I was looking for.

Then it was time for the self-proclaimed conservative to play the "but marriage is a gift from God" card.  Another simple one (that seems to be a trend with conservative arguments).  The easy argument here is that, while it is fine for a church to refuse to marry people because of their beliefs, marriage as far as the government is concerned, is purely secular.  It is a contract that has specific rights and responsibilities included.  If religion is taken out of the argument, then we're only left with a contract (called marriage) that the government has no reason to deny to a gay couple.

At this point, I got an agreement that, even though the conservative didn't agree with homosexuality, there was no reason that the government should be denying gay marriage.  This person did attempt to say that they would have to vote against approving gay marriage if it came up because they didn't agree with it personally.  Well, the discussion immediately became about forcing the person's beliefs on others versus allowing others to make decisions on their own.  No matter what logic was used, this was the last hiding place for this faux conservative.  There was not going to be an admission that, even though they said the government should not be writing any religion's beliefs into law and there was no reason that the government should be denying gay marriage, this person actually believed as many liberals do and would vote to see progress in freedom and civil rights.  I warned this person to be careful because they might actually be a liberal in conservative clothes.

At some point, we transitioned to a discussion about "entitlement" programs.  We agreed that Social Security, being a system that is paid into by workers, is not what many people refer to as an "entitlement" program.  (We had a discussion about the word "entitlement" before we started in which we decided that we would use the word to basically "charity" as many conservatives use the term.  We agreed that, by the true definition of the term "entitlement," social security was one.  I'm pretty sure the sentence, "I've paid into that my whole career, you're damn right I'm entitled to it" was uttered.)

Then we agreed that there should be some reform to the programs.  We agreed that people on welfare should be subjected to drug testing.  The surprising part was that, while the conservative thought Medicaid should be destroyed, we agreed that everyone in a country as rich as ours deserved to have basic necessities like food, shelter, and healthcare.  This conservative told me that they believed we should move to a single-payer healthcare system.  Stop.  Re-read that last sentence.  Now realize that this conservative works in the healthcare industry...and has for over 25 years.  At this point, there was no denying the obvious.  I had to tell this person who proclaims to be conservative that they are actually a liberal.  Yes.  This anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, self-proclaim Christian conservative is actually a liberal who is refusing to see the truth.  If you believe in the freedom to live one's life, if you believe that the fundamental rights outlined in the Constitution apply to all of us, if you are a true Christian...then you should be very careful with whom you align yourself politically.  You may actually be a liberal in conservatives clothing.  

Republicans Start the Year Off with Typical Stupidity

I guess Republicans didn't get the message in the election.  Losing the Presidential election and losing seats in both houses of Congress didn't drive it home.  So they just keep pushing their tired, ridiculous agenda.  Within the first few days of the new year, I've read about two extremely stupid bills being proposed by Republicans (gives me a good idea of what to expect for the next two years). 

First, while the Violence Against Women Act and the Hurricane Sandy Relief Bill go unapproved in Congress, Republican Michelle Bachman announced that she introduced the first bill of the 113th Congress to repeal the Affordable Care Act.  Despite passing similar bills 33 times in the last useless congressional session that didn't go anywhere, Republicans apparently don't mind wasting millions more passing the repeal (the first 33 times cost an estimated $50 million to taxpayers). 

This morning, I read news of another Republican that has decided to waste taxpayer money by introducing a bill that would allow public schools to require the recitation of the Lord's Prayer.  Indiana state senator Dennis Kruse, who attempted and failed to get creationism taught in schools last year, filed a bill that would allow Indiana schools to force children to recite the Lord's Prayer, although the bill allows for individual students to opt out.  In this case, the Republican in charge of the Indiana state senate was intelligent enough to recognize that this bill is an unconstitutional waste of time.  He assigned it to the rules and legislative procedures committee and said that it was a clear violation of the first amendment. 

That leads to the question of why these legislators are introducing bills that they know will fail.  The answer is that they want to make a statement.  They believe that their agenda should be forced upon the rest of us, regardless of whether we want it or not.  They choose to make a statement that costs us millions of dollars.  Meanwhile, they complain about frivolous government spending. 

This just illustrates the hypocrisy of the Republican agenda.  They say they want to stop spending, but waste millions on bills they know won't pass.  They say they want smaller government, but want to write more laws restricting the freedoms of specific groups.  Ask them why, and they'll tell you that there's a difference between conservative fiscal policy and conservative social policy.  Of course there is, that difference is called hypocrisy. 

I can respect a true libertarian.  They don't want government intrusion at all.  They want very little government in either fiscal or social policy.  While I may not agree with much of their agenda, I can respect them for having a solid belief and applying it to all aspects of government. On the other hand, today's conservatives are simply hypocrites who only push their ideology as far as it benefits their agenda.  They are perfectly willing to compromise their ideology to make a statement about their beliefs (which is ironic because they refuse to compromise with anyone who believes differently in order to get things accomplished).  Maybe this is why their party is imploding...no one, not even their own party members, can really a group that doesn't live up to its ideals and proves itself full of hypocrites over and over.  Hopefully all of this silliness and waste ends after the 2014 election when many of these people are removed from office. 

Social Networking: Millions of Heartbreaks Served

 Directly behind my office there is a common hallway for all of the businesses in the building.  In theory, it is an emergency exit for the building.  In reality, it is a place for people to take smoke breaks.  One of those businesses is a sandwich shop.  As with many fast food type companies, this shop employs a lot of younger staff.  Every night around 6 pm, I can hear these young people making noise in the hallway.  Not usually a big deal because I've learned to tune it out.  Tonight was different.

I heard some noise in the hallway.  For about 10 minutes I tuned it out and dismissed it.  Suddenly, I realized that a young girl was crying.  When I say crying, I mean crying like someone who has just been told that her best friend died.  After another few minutes, I began to worry about her.  I watch entirely too much Law & Order, so I began to wonder if something had happened to her, such as her being attacked.  I knew that, even though it was unlikely, I wouldn't forgive myself if that had turned out to be the case so I decided to poke my head out there and ask her if she was okay. 

Right before I opened my door to check on her, I heard her talking on the phone.  Thank goodness.  It was simply a break up.  I only say thank goodness because it could have been something much worse.  I went back to my desk, but she was so upset that I could hear her entire conversation very clearly.  I won't go into a lot of personal details here, but suffice it to say that she had confronted her girlfriend about a third girl that was on her girlfriend's Facebook page.  Apparently, the third girl was her girlfriend's ex, and the interaction was inappropriate.  A text argument ensued that culminated in her girlfriend breaking up with her.  Drama, drama, drama. 

I tell you this story because it got me thinking about social media.  For a short time I ran a blog called "Today's Social Life."  It discussed aspects of social media.  (Don't bother looking for it, I've shut it down.)  Some of my blogs on that site discussed how social media has affected relationships.  Here are a couple of excerpts from those blogs:

From Social Media:  Bringing People Together

Not long ago, I read an article that said one-third of all divorce filings contained the word “Facebook.”  Based on my own experience, I can see how that happens.  I have watched my friends on Facebook post details about their emotions and relationship that they would normally never tell most of the people that can see their updates.  I see people posting an update meant to make someone else feel bad or to gain sympathy.  I’ve seen relationships develop and fall apart online.  There are even websites like Failbook, an entertainment website that posts screenshots of funny mistakes made by people on Facebook, that have special categories for people caught cheating on the social media site.  We’ve turned the destruction of people’s relationships into a source of entertainment for others.  With over one million estimated divorces in a year, this means that over 300,000 people have cited Facebook as a contributing factor to the end of their marriage.

From Relationship Rules for Social Media

I’ve already covered ways that social media can bring people together, in good and bad ways, and how it may be possible to abuse social media. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I feel like social media is a bad thing. Quite the opposite. I think it is a brilliant development. I just want to make sure that there is a level of awareness about the dangers involved with sharing our lives with others online. With that in mind, I went searching for tips on how to protect your relationship on social media sites.

I found a lot of articles about the subject. Some were more extensive than others, but they all seemed to share some common ideas:

1. Communicate with your significant other. This may be the most important rule on the list. This means that you need to talk to your significant other about the amount of time that is acceptable, and what is considered appropriate interaction with others. Whether you agree, or like it, your significant other may have a different idea of how much time you should be spending on social media sites. If he or she feels that you are spending more time on the internet than is okay, this could lead to jealousy and suspicion of inappropriate relationships. Set clear expectations about when and how long it is okay to stay online. Also, if he or she says that there is someone that you shouldn’t be interacting with, you need to listen. The way you are communicating online and the people you are communicating with (i.e. ex-lovers) can make your significant other uncomfortable. It is not an unreasonable request that you do not stay in touch with someone for whom you used to have feelings…or anyone that makes him or her uncomfortable. Do not make your significant other feel that anyone else’s friendship is more important than how he or she feels…it will lead to disaster.
2. Don’t hide anything from your significant other. Open and honest communication is a necessary component of any relationship, particularly social media relationships. Share your login information for social media sites and email accounts with your significant other and expect the same from him or her. There shouldn’t be anything you say or do online that you cannot share with your spouse. If you need to hide it…it is probably wrong. Emotional affairs are a real and growing problem. They can end a relationship just as easily as a physical affair…and often times lead to physical affairs. Don’t ever delete any messages, chat sessions, or comments that you think would upset your significant other. If they are potentially upsetting, they shouldn’t be happening.
3. Unfriend or unfollow anyone who crosses boundaries. If anyone begins to make comments or ask questions on social media sites that makes you uncomfortable, or you think would make your significant other uncomfortable, let your significant other know and unfriend that person. There is no reason to allow anyone to remain on your social media list if that person cannot respect the boundaries of your relationship. Doing so is putting your friendship with that person ahead of your relationship.
4. Advertise your relationship. Make sure that your relationship status is set to "married," or whatever is true and appropriate. Share pictures of your significant other or the two of you together. Proclaim your love for him or her on your page. Make sure that there is no question about your relationship status and what you are looking for online.
5. Social media is not relationship counseling forum. It is not a place to air your grievances with your significant other. If something he or she does annoys you or makes you angry…that is a personal matter not meant for the world. Posting passive-aggressive statuses about how "people" or "someone" makes you angry is no better than posting his or her name. The fact that you don’t mention the person’s name does not mean that you have escaped culpability for your post. These kinds of statuses are meant to garner attention, gain support in an argument, or punish someone for their actions while giving the poster deniability if they are confronted about the status. None of this has any place in a healthy relationship.
6. Work on your relationship outside of the internet. Make sure you spend more energy on your relationship outside of social media than you do online. Advertising your feeling on social media is great…but not at the expense of failing to do so in person. Hug, kiss, and tell your significant other how much you love him or her in person. There is no substitute…that’s why you are together in the first place.

Now I’m not a therapist, but these seem like pretty good rules. It is not by any means a comprehensive list.  I adapted them from lists in the following articles:

How to Protect Your Relationship on Facebook

Five Ways to Protect Your Relationship From Online Cheating

Protect Yourself from the Seven Sins of Facebook

11 Facebook Rules for Married Couples

These articles have further advice that I didn’t list. It is worth a few minutes of your time to check them out. If you are in a relationship and online, stop and think about what you are doing. There is no social network worth losing someone you love.

I'm not sure what happened with that girl and her girlfriend tonight.  Maybe her girlfriend was cheating.  Maybe not.  Maybe this girl has a habit of making false accusations.  Maybe they have many other issues.  I don't know.  What I do know is that social networking is a wonderful development - hey, it's how you all are so blessed to hear my wisdom!  (Sorry...my narcissistic side just reared it's ugly head.)  Just be careful how you wield such a powerful tool.  Intentional or not, you can hurt someone.  Just ask the poor girl crying alone in the hallway behind my office.