Two of My Passions Combine in a Whirlwind of Awesomeness

Today two of the great loves of my life are crossing paths in my blog.  It is the first day of Colts football for the season (and by the looks of it...a loooong season for us fans - hey, we're building from the ground up...give 'em a break), and NFL players are standing up to make a statement to an ignorant politician who is trying to stifle the rights of people in Maryland. 

Left to right: Chris Kluwe, Brendon Ayandejo, and Emmett C. Burns, Jr.

Many of you may have heard of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo speaking out in favor of gay marriage.  I will begin by saying that I'm so happy to see a person who has a stage like Ayanbadejo standing up and using it for the right reasons.  Well done, sir.

On the other side of this...Maryland House of Delegates member Emmett C. Burns Jr. discovered Ayanbadejo's support of gay marriage, and promptly took action.  He sent a letter to the Ravens organization with the following message:

"I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo, would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Ravens football player...
I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions. I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing."

If you missed it...let me highlight a specific quote from this letter, "I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions."  Translation: Threaten your player's job to make him stop advocating and speaking up in support of gay marriage.

We didn't need any further evidence that morons like Burns are not at all interested in the fundamental rights of the people, but he provided it anyway.  I guess he just doesn't care for the First Amendment, but I don't think people opposed to gay marriage put much stock in any of the Constitution. For those of you who are not familiar with Burns (because I wasn't until this story), here is a little information.  He is a Democratic politician serving his fourth term in the Maryland House of Delegates.  Yes, I said Democratic.  They make crazy lunatic in all forms and I don't restrain myself from calling a jackass for what he is because of a political party.  From what I read, this tool is a Baptist Minister.  Westboro would be so proud! 

On a quick side note...what is the obsession so many Baptists have with homosexuality?  I know its not all Baptists, but good grief!  Why am I always hearing about Baptists doing something to the LGBT community?  To all of you obsessed Baptists out there...please read the rest of the Bible!  There is a lot more in it than a couple of verses about homosexuality!  Moving on...

In a bright silver lining to this story, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe sent the following letter to Burns in an effort to inform him of exactly how much of a douchebag he really is. 

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

Well said, Kluwe.   I don't really have a lot to add to that.  Obviously Burns is another anti-Constitutional prick who doesn't care about others' rights.  I'm glad Ayanbadejo and Kluwe are showing the world that people with a stage can speak out for reason and equality.  I saw a website with a new campaign supporting the LGBT community that I love...LEGALIZE LOVE.  I couldn't say it better.

Visit LegalizeLove.com to show your support and get a free Legalize Love bumper sticker!

Advertisement Clues Us In...Obama is Forcing Gay Marriage on the Country!

I want to congratulate the American Values PAC for winning the most ridiculous advertisement award for this election.  And that’s saying a lot!  This poor woman is just so upset because, “Obama is trying to force gay marriage on this country.”  I guess this is in response to the statement that the President made in an interview with ABC in which he said, “At a certain point I've just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married.” 

Apparently any statement the President makes is now automatically a bill in Congress.  That must be why I missed the part of the bill that says “every man and woman in American must be married to a person of the same sex.”  I’m pretty sure that is the only way they could “force” gay marriage on the country.  Even if it was legalized, why would have anything to do with anyone other than the gay community who chose to be married?  What a great example of massive exaggeration and fear mongering.   

Here’s my wish for the future.  Please let Obama win the election and on the first day of his term I want him to sign an executive order making homosexuality a completely protected class.  I want to see the panic on Fox News as they report the end of civilization because we are all going to be forced to be homosexual and no one will reproduce. 

I just don’t understand the ignorance that is spewing from the mouths of people like this.  Are these people really so dumb that they can’t understand what they are saying?  Or that what they are saying is in no way true?  Of course, in a country where a moron gets headlines for running his mouth about the President during a concert, what should I expect?  I guess being able to hold a few notes makes one qualified to pass judgment on the leader of the most powerful nation in the world.  (Yes, Hank.  This is directed at you.)  But I’ll get into that in an upcoming post.  In the meantime…make sure you protect your homes and children from that homosexual takeover that President Obama is forcing on us.  Otherwise we may end up with a country full of well dressed, fun-loving, accepting people.  The horror.

Douchebag Businessman Award: Chick-fil-A (Updated)

Updated Below on July 23, 2012

Call me behind the times, but apparently, I missed this one. An investigation into the charitable donations from Chick-Fil-A show that they company donated approximately $2 million to groups with an anti-gay agenda in 2010.

Fortunately, my family doesn’t eat at Chick-Fil-A because my wife can’t stand the smell of their food. She worked for another company that was right next to a Chick-Fil-A and was forced to smell the grease and chicken for eight hours a day. There have been countless times that I have suggested we eat there simply to watch her gag. Fortunately, I can only remember actually eating there once in the last four or five years. Now I regret every penny of that meal.


I live in the heartland of America. I am surrounded by ignorance, discrimination, and hate at every turn. I work very hard to teach my child how to hear the hate and discrimination and turn it into a lesson on tolerance. She understands that some people just have hate in their hearts and are afraid of anything that they don’t understand. I take her to church and we have read a children’s story bible from cover to cover. She understands now that God taught us how to love, not hate. It amazes me that a child with such a basic and pure understanding of God and the Bible can grasp that concept when so many people who claim to be Christians cannot.


I’m not going to re-write my articles about gay marriage and homophobia. If you haven’t read them already, give them a read.


I can tell you that my family will not support Chick-Fil-A’s homophobic agenda in the future. I hope anyone who learns about this follows the example and refuses to patronize an organization that is founded on hate.


A blogger that I follow has occasionally done a “Douchebag of the Day” on his blog. I loved the idea, but I didn’t want to completely steal his idea, just the basic concept. Since a lot of my disdain is reserved for companies and business executives, here is my version.


Congratulations Truett Cathy…you have the honor of becoming our first recipient of the Douchebag Businessman Award.

Truett Cathy - Founder of Chick-fil-A

Update July 23, 2012:

Finally realizing that their anti-gay agenda was totally exposed, Dan Cathy, President of Chick-fil-A, came out and openly admitted that the company has an anti-gay agenda.  When asked about the company's agenda against gay-marriage he stated,

"'Well, guilty as charged,' adding:


'We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit....We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives.'"

In a wonderful show of support for the LGBT community, Chick-fil-A has been experiencing backlash.  They have had calls for boycotts by average people as well as celebrities.  The mayor of Boston has vowed to make Chick-fil-A's expansion in the city very difficult until they change their practices.  Facebook pages have started in opposition to the company (see below for links).  Finally, in another major blow, the Jim Henson Company, renowned for the Muppets, has cut ties with Chick-fil-A.  The statement read:

The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD. (http://www.glaad.org/)

In a pathetic attempt to calm the storm that the Cathy's have created, the company issued the following statement on its Facebook page:

The Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect – regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender. We will continue this tradition in the over 1,600 Restaurants run by independent Owner/Operators. Going forward, our intent is to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.

I think they wrote that incorrectly...I'm pretty sure what they meant to say was that the culture and tradition in their restaurants was to treat every person with honor dignity and respect - at least until they have your money.  At which time they will take a percentage of your money and donate it to organizations that will fight to make you a second-class citizen.  But, we still want your money so please don't let that stop you from purchasing our food.

What a fantastic outpouring of support for the LGBT community.  This kind of support gives me hope that I'm not alone in my thinking that we should never discriminate against a group of people who are simply trying to live their lives, love their families, and enjoy the freedom that we all cherish. 

I encourage you to show support for the websites who are speaking out against this ridiculous company.  Please remember that, although I love debate and argument on my articles, these pages are not necessarily out there asking for debate.  Please visit them, like their pages, and support them.  If you can't support them please carry on with your life and leave them alone. 

Chick Filled Hate

One Million Against Chick-fil-A




I noticed that many of the links in the original post were broken.  I believe that I have fixed them all.  Please let me know if you find any still broken.  Thanks!