Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Better Ingredients, Worse Math...John Schnatter is Costing Himself a Fortune

Math has become the bane of conservative "logic" over the last few months.  It seems that all of their rhetoric and lies are getting exposed by peons like me who simply do the math.  Here's a fun one for you.

Tonight I read an article from Forbes that showed how flawed John Schnatter's, the owner of Papa John's, math was on his per pizza costs for health care.  That was interesting, but what really caught my eye was the number of shares he owns and the stock price. 

According to the Forbes article, John owns 6,094,409 shares of stock.  On Thursday November 8, 2012 the stock price began at $51.70 and has been dropping ever since.  As of today, the stock price is now $48.69.  This means that John Schnatter's stock was valued at $315,080,945.30 last Thursday morning.  Right now that same stock is valued at $296,736,774.21.  This is a loss in value of $18,344,171.09.  While he was busy trying to screw his employees and save $5-8 million per year (according to his own estimates), he has lost over $18 million in stock value due to bad press (and a lawsuit he is facing). 


I love the power of social media.  If he continues to refuse his employees health care and threaten to reduce their hours, I hope the calls for boycotts spread like a virus.  I want to see his stock plummet well under $40 per share.  At $38 per share he would have lost enough money to have paid for his employees' health care for a decade.  Don't lose sight of what the public can do to these millionaires who try to hold us hostage to their greed.  We've already cost him what he would have paid over 2-3 years for health care.  Let's make him lose decades.  Continue the boycotts of Papa John's and every other business who plays games with the livelihood of their workers.  Let's end the American Aristocracy before it begins.

I haven't done it in a while, but this makes John Schnatter today's Douchebag Businessman!  Congratulations John!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Conservatives Request to Secede...A Vision of the Future


The stupidity over the election is getting much worse.  There are now multiple petitions from at least a dozen states to withdraw from the United States.  Before we begin to panic (because I'm sure we are all starting to worry), we have to stop and remember that these petitions are the result of complete stupidity - from the petitioners and the media.

First, the media is reporting this story with headlines like, Divided States Of America: 20 States Petition To Secede After Re-Election Of President Obama.  This gives people the impression that the states have sent the requests instead of a handful of nutjobs.  Not one of the petitions has originated in any state government office.  The states aren't asking for anything...it's the crazies who are signing these petitions.  Unfortunately for them, the White House won't even consider any petition until it reaches 25,000 signatures - which they must collect within 30 days.  The only one that is reasonably close is the petition for Texas.  

While there is zero chance that any petition would succeed, let's have some fun.  Let's assume that the government is tired of Texas pretending to be more important than it really is and grants their request.  There would be a mass exodus of citizens from Texas.  I'm sure there would be some more geniuses that would choose to enter Texas to be a part of their new country.  Either way, this would have devastating effects on the economy of Texas.  

With the laws of the United States no longer being in place, there would be a period of near anarchy while representatives were chosen and a constitution was developed.  The wild west would be alive and well while Texans were killing each other.  of course, the import and export agreements that the United States would no longer be in place, so these agreements would have to be negotiated for Texas.  I imagine they wouldn't get very favorable terms from the U.S. in these agreements.  Not to mention the fact that they would have a very limited amount of exports since most large companies would pull their production out of Texas to remain in the United States.  Limited resources and high import costs would cause the cost of goods to skyrocket in the new Texas.  This would add to the escalating crime rate, particularly because there would be no regulation of firearms while they developed a legal system.  


While many businesses would pull out, there is one business that would see the anarchy as a great opportunity.  The drug industry would move in with full force.  As drug cartels set up shop, they would bring the full force of their arsenals.  With very little in the way of peace keeping force, Texans would be at the mercy of these cartels.  They would quickly seize power.  By the time a government was established including peacekeeping forces, they would be facing a long and bloody war with the cartels.  Of course, they wouldn't have any military equipment because the U.S.Government would have pulled all of this out before we withdrew.  This means that any army or police force would be incredibly outgunned and the cartels would likely control Texas.  

I'm sure that the U.S. and Mexico would be willing to provide a limited amount of firepower for Texas with some major discounts on oil.  This would mean that Texas would not realize the full value of their oil exports for the foreseeable future.  

Let's assume some time passes and order is eventually restored.  The economy in Texas would be in shambles.  The vast majority of the wealth would be in the hands of a precious few individuals.  The remaining population would be living in poverty.  Drugs, violence, and other crimes would be rampant.  I'm sure the U.S. would be willing to offer amnesty to many of the people looking to leave their beloved new Texas for the safety, security, and opportunity that they used to enjoy in the United States.  

The remaining population would begin to grow increasingly angry at the aristocracy of Texas (don't think they won't exist).  Eventually the nobles would have a hard time convincing the starving population that the wealth would trickle down.  They wouldn't be able to convince them that they were better off starving because abortion and gay marriage was illegal.  The poor workers would finally begin to rise up against their masters.  The very loose firearms laws in Texas would mean that the armies of the nobles would be vastly outgunned.  

A brief and bloody civil war would ensue.  Even more people would abandon Texas for the safety and security of the United States border.  Many of these people, due to concern for their families, wouldn't want to wait for proper immigration procedures and would probably cross the border illegally.  That would be part of the wonder irony that would result from this situation.  

Finally, the people would seize power and begin negotiations with the United States to re-enter the Union.  They would be allowed back into the United States, but with strict oversight by the federal government for a time.  While many of these conservatives were gone, an overwhelming majority of the United States would have elected liberal leaders to run our country.  

Social issues like gay marriage would have been resolved.  We would be prospering and enjoying a society well on its way to pure equality between all groups.  Our economy would be prospering with a very strong middle class.  The upper class would be prospering, but the disparity between the classes would be much smaller due to the share of tax burden that they would be paying.  This would greatly increase the money coming in to the federal government.

We would be much better able to care for those who were struggling.  While poverty would still exist, it would be at a much lower rate.  Starvation and homelessness would have been virtually eliminated when we realized that there was no reason our country should allow these horrible conditions to exist.  Some would be paying a higher percentage of taxes, but the higher revenues would be able to pay off our debts and provide the infrastructure we need to build a strong economy.  With everyone's health care covered, the cost of medical care would have dropped significantly.  The amount of bad debt write-off at hospitals would be effectively zero.  This debt wouldn't have to be passed on to the rest of the population so costs would plummet.  

After a while, these conservatives would adjust to our new society.  They would realize that none of the fears that they had were justified.  They would be free to practice their respective religions free from interference as long as they didn't try to enforce their beliefs on others.  While the wealthy conservatives would be paying higher tax rates, they would realize that many of the services they were paying for would be much less expensive so that they could enjoy the fruits of their labor to a greater extent.  The people they previously put down for living under "entitlement programs" would be productive members of society, increasing the workforce and growing the economy.  A sense of great pride and patriotism would exist in the citizens of the United States that would be admired by our allies around the world, including many Islamic nations.  We would be a very happy, productive country in which we all would be proud. 

This is what would come from a bunch of conservatives leaving the Union and allowing us to move forward.  Regardless of what they tell you, progress is not a bad thing.  We must move forward on issue like equal rights.  We spend way too much time debating and fighting over these issues.  It doesn't matter what your religious or personal beliefs are.  What matters is that we respect the rights of others, even if they believe differently.  Instead of focusing on how we can do this, we are dealing with a bunch of children who don't want to play with us anymore because things didn't go their way.  It's time for them to grow up and act like adults.  While they can't have any of our states as a new country to spread their bigotry and stupidity, they are free to leave any time.  This doesn't just include the people signing these petitions.  It includes the members of Congress who need to put aside their personal beliefs and get down to work.  The people have spoken.  We have said that we don't want their trickle down economics and theocratic laws.  Do your jobs or get out so we can find someone who will. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day Stupidity---Get Out and Vote!

One of the most hotly contested elections in recent history will be decided today.  It seems everyone who has a voice is encouraging people to get out and vote.  Today I saw something that I find deeply disturbing.  I saw posts from two people with military experience refusing to vote. 

Let me say that I understand that not everyone will vote.  Some people don't care.  Some don't understand.  Some don't feel like they are well enough informed.  Here's my problem:  these people entered a profession in which they put their lives at stake for our ability to vote.  Now, they also protected the right to choose.  So they have every right to exercise the ability to abstain.  The issue is that they expressly stated that they will still complain about the outcome of the election. 

The posts stated that they didn't like any of the candidates.  They included all of the Presidential, congressional, and local offices in this blanket statement.  My response to this is that elections aren't about liking a person.  It is about choosing the person who you believe will best perform the duties of office.  There are many candidates that I don't particularly like or dislike that got my vote.  I simply believe that they are the best candidate for the job.  You don't get perfect choices in this world.  Complaining about it does nothing.  You have to do something.  If that means choosing the best person for the job now and working to support a  better person later, then that's what you do.  What you can't do is refuse to choose, and then complain about the choices everyone else made. 

I was discussing this with my wife and she had a wonderful analogy for the situation (of course, it's a food analogy because she's a chef and her mind works in food).  Let's say a person was at a party and the group needed to order pizzas to feed everyone.  Each person was polled about the toppings they wanted on each of the pizzas.  If you don't really like any of the toppings you could choose to abstain.  But by abstaining you give up the power to complain about the toppings chosen by others.  If you cast your vote, even for toppings that had no chance of making it onto the pizza (let's say anchovies), then you could complain about the decisions.  This is the burden of choosing to abstain.  My immediate response to anyone who refuses to vote will be to ask what they did in the election to improve the situation.  Doing nothing will never improve the state of affairs. 

So even if you feel uninformed...get out and vote!  There are multiple tools out there to help you choose the candidate that fits your beliefs.  Here are a couple:

ISideWith.com

Project Vote Smart

These sites make it easy for you to choose your candidates.  There is no excuse for not voting other than pure laziness.  Just remember, if you exercise your right to abstain....that includes your right to complain.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Jon Husted...Secretary of Suppression


It seems that every day I am hearing some new regulation that has been put in place by Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted.  Pretty much all of them are attempts to suppress votes in Ohio.  His attempts to suppress votes have gone as far as the Supreme Court, which refused to allow him to end early voting this weekend.  He has reduced the hours for early voting, sent absentee ballots to every voter in Ohio with incorrect dates, and tried to write misleading language into the ballot.  Interestingly enough, the unethical moves by Husted are all to benefit his own political party. 

I expect the Secretary of State to make some minor changes that benefit his or her own party, but this guy is getting ridiculous.  He has done everything except attempt to ban Democrats from voting in the election.  My question would be, how many unethical changes does a Secretary of State have to make before he is found guilty of abusing the powers of his office and get removed?  I don't know what the line is, but I'm sure that he has crossed it. 

It is insane that his antics are being allowed, particularly in a state that is as important in an election as Ohio.  In my opinion he should be charged with abuse of office and removed.  He now ranks up there with morons like Rush Limbaugh as one of the biggest douchebags in American politics. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Mourdock's Comments Costing Republicans Senate Seat


For those of you who read my column in The American Complaint Department, this week's was about the ridiculous comment made by Senate candidate Richard Mourdock (read the article here).  In his final debate with Joe Donnelly and Andrew Horning, Mourdock was asked about his position on abortion in the case of rape.  If you haven't heard, Mourdock said that, if a woman got pregnant from rape, it was "something God intended to happen."  

Of course I think his statement is ridiculous, but great news has come out about Mourdock's Senate campaign.  The results of the first independent poll that has been released since his statement came out today.  The poll shows that Mourdock is now trailing Joe Donnelly by an 11 point margin.  If this poll is even close to accurate, Mourdock has likely ruined his chances of winning this race with his extremist comments.  He would have to pull off a miracle come back in the final four days of the election.  I doubt that is likely because Indiana television stations are being flooded with commercials condemning Mourdock's tea party extremism.  In the short time it took me to write this blog, I have seen about 6 or 7 commercials using Mourdock's comments against him. 


Most importantly is what this means for the election in general.  Republicans have been working very hard to gain a majority in the Senate.  This was going to be an uphill battle, but Indiana Republicans made it even harder when they replaced 35 year incumbent Richard Lugar with a tea party extremist candidate.  Lugar was a well-known moderate Republican that has worked well with Democrats for decades.  The desire to rid themselves of anyone who has worked across the aisle has now likely lost Republicans a seat that has been a mainstay for over three decades.  I hope Republicans take this into consideration as proof that the majority will reject the tea party extremist element that has been infecting their ranks.  It lost them an ally in the Senate, and will continue to destroy the Republican party from within.  Of course, that's not an entirely bad notion.